Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Finite resources

This grammar exercise is something on which it might be worth spending time (?). This is not to say I spent much time on it.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Putting the acid in acidophilus!


Here's a quick read on less protein, less meat for most of us (in the US and similar SAD-like places). The reason this time is the high acid in meat and dairy, which we (a) eat too much of, and (b) don't balance by fruits and vegetables, which are high alkaline. Acidity is officially something I don't understand, but I've read about it elsewhere and find it not completely crazy. In other words, please pass the carrots! Just kidding, Yours Truly would eat carrots even if they were the most acidic thing on earth.
In another life I have fancy clothes and marble floors. I spend my days mostly indoors, except when I am outside by my pool or in my car with my driver on the way to a friend's house, which looks like mine, save different numbers of columns and different roundnesses of pools. Each day contains a martini, a rest, and a swim. In between those things, I feel impatient.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

I Feel Pretty!

We all get caught in photographs while we are making goofy faces, or staring blankly, or looking furious for no reason. But, I think if I were more famous (and by "more" I mean "at all remotely"), I would make a concerted effort to never not smile pleasantly.

P.S. This post is dedicated to my dear Brother, whose Birthday is Tomorrow. And Who Also is very Pretty!

Saturday, November 7, 2009

In another life I am a professor in a school where I walk over crunchy leaves a disproportionate time of the year compared to average, I wear glasses and a vest, think long, slow thoughts, and articulate them over wine to people just like me. We agree that it's all very exciting.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Ode to Myself

Traveling is my favorite thing in the entire Universe, or at least in the Parts that I've Seen.

In addition, today is the Anniversary +1 Day of the tag to this entry that is not the one that says "very good". Imagine -- if we had settled on a different calendar, we could have had more or fewer anniversaries. Or, perhaps we'd have devised a way never to have them at All.

How would we commemorate things that happened before? Maybe whenever we felt like it.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Some Days I am Organized. Some Days I work well under Pressure. Other Days, I Despise My Team Members.

Earlier This Week, Yours Truly overheard a Woman in a Café participating in an event that very exactly approximated a Job Interview. Your Fearless Leader overheard her proclaim about herself that she had a "dynamic skill set."

Your Leader wonders: does this mean that what she is good at changes?

If Anyone Reading This is a Character Developer for Heroes (if that show is still on), Yours Truly has three words for you:

You
Are
Welcome!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Another Day in Altruism City

Dear Readers!

Yours Truly is currently sitting in a Café next to a Person wearing a Stanford T-Shirt. Someone just walked up to him and exclaimed, "Stanford, Michigan?!"

The original Person said, "No, the school ... in California." There ensued a Horrible Pause, as Nobody Could Tell who was Joking.

Graciously, Your Fearless Leader coughed and Cleared the Air of Awkward Demons.

{fín}

Monday, October 5, 2009

In another life I have short hair, wear tank tops every day, have a tattoo that wraps around one of my arms, and maybe even a nose ring. I run my own café that makes the best Americanos you've ever had, and also has really good raw food, including selections for those who don't like nuts! I laugh a lot and go on things like yoga retreats in Utah.


Friday, September 4, 2009

igra rokenrol

Dear readers! Hello from the Front Lines. Yesterday on the Sidewalk a Soldier In Uniform accidentally Bumped Into Your Fearless Leader because he was Not Paying Attention to his Surroundings. Yours Truly can Only Interpret This as Clear Evidence that the US Army's Basic Training Program is Slipping. We are either Doomed, or Gradually Saved.

The End!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

University

Dear readers! How long it's been. I shan't bore you with details, for I have been most busy, and simply mustn't force you to hear the many trace informations of what would surely be a delightful, enchanting, but far too long tale of adventure for anyone's eyes on a simple, hasty location for reading such as the present forum.

Instead, I shall dwell upon a silly anniversary of a day I remember least well of all my days (unless you are a Freudian). To commemorate, your fearless leader will do her favorite things, including, but not limited to: drinking bourbon, driving a car, riding a public transportation rail unit, traversing a not humble city (humility, as we all know, is a sin in our modern times), seeing a dear and wonderful friend, the brilliant Michael Aylward, drinking coffee on a front porch of a nice house in a small town, and spending an evening with the two most important people in one's life in a home over which, I would argue, one can never really get. (The jury remains "out", of course, on whether they ought.)

Post Script: The best thing about modern times is that they are always modern!


Monday, June 22, 2009

If You're Looking for a Title Here, You're About to Be Sorely Disappointed

Dear Readers,

Hello.  It would appear no posts were ... *ahem* ... posted during the month of May.  The committee wishes to sincerely apologize for this oversight and blames The Horrible Management In This Place for the mistake.

While we do not offer refunds, we do offer overly theatrical displays of remorse.  And by "overly theatrical displays of remorse" we mean "free auto-subscriptions to the Sierra Post Discount Trading Newsletter and Its Non-Junk-Mail-Trainable Affiliates."  To receive your own personalized display of remorse, please email us at your convenience at:

donotreply@thisisnotanemailaddress.seriouslyiwishthisactuallywasmyemailaddress.org

Sincerely,

The Committee* on Reader* Enjoyment*

*You can't spell "committee" without "commit"
*We know you don't read this blog.  You pronounce each word aloud as you encounter it, to the delight of passersby.
*Make that enjoyMINT and have a Junior One!  Also, save yourself some angst and don't think about what a Senior Mint would entail.

Springtime* Competition!

Dear Readers!  In the past two weeks, Your Fearless Leader has engaged in the Modern Act of causing the transfer of funds out of her bank account and into the bank account of something or someone in another place.  But, these were not just any old transfers to any old places!  No sir, they were transfers to -- this is important --

TWO PLACES THAT ARE FORSAKEN BY GOD.

One is Indiana.  The other is Azerbaijan.

And now ... the question on everybody's mind: Which is MORE FORSAKEN?!

VOTE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*not springtime.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Try all you want, you'll never get those things to stick together

Attention, Attention, my Dear, Dear Readers!

There is a conference taking place in Cargèse, France this very July.  One of the topics to be covered is frustrated magnets.

I say, it's high time magnets were given an opportunity to air their grievances.  I can only imagine that being at the mercy of those poles all the time must grow tiresome in a big hurry.

(Exhibit A: Why Andrea Does Not Do Stand-Up: See Contained.)

----
Frustrated Magnets Awareness bumper stickers* are available by e-mailing the Author.

*obviously, they are not the magnetic kind.  Let's give those poor things a break!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Beginning to end

I'll tell you what: You give me three nickels, I'll give you a dime and five pennies. No, wait: I'll give YOU two dimes, and then you give me one nickel, thirteen pennies, and one two-cent coin from the days of Yore. Wait, wait, no! I know! You give ME the one million dollars in cold hard cash you owe me, and I'll let you get out of here alive.

BANG BANG BANG BANG!

This blog entry was composed with no idea how it would go whatsoever. On the bright side, I just nailed my opening lines for my mobster screenplay. On the less-than-bright side, I got sketched out.

In unrelated news, I wonder if my coffee is poisoned. And by "poisoned", I mean: "old", and by "old" I mean: who am I kidding? I drink it like this all the time because I don't have a coffee maker in my slum.

And by "slum" I mean "modest accommodation".

Here is something fun: Zebras. Why do they exist?!?!

Ok, ok: You're right. That wasn't fun at all. Here's something that's REALLY fun.

Still not satisfied? Go here.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Put Differently

Proposition 1: Unless you were going to follow what you just said with exactly the same thing, there is absolutely no reason to insert the phrase "in other words" into your sentence or paragraph.

Proof: Suppose I am tired. Suppose further I wish to express this. Possible ways to do this:

I am tired. In other words, I feel like sleeping.
I am tired. In similar words, I am tired.

Lemma 1: This is exhausting.
Lemma 2: I am not actually tired.
Lemma 3: Yours truly is violently misusing the lemma.

Q.E.D.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Red Meat Causes and Is Caused by Death!

I've said it before, I said it again (and again), but now I never need to say it again: "Daily Red Meat Raises Chance of Dying Early."

And not only that, but the meat is worse if you:

Cook it
or
Process it.

AND: It destroys the environment.

End of discussion. Good day, gentlemen!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

the public services

This article (from 1990!) discusses a lot of that about which I wish we in the social sciences thought a bit more -- or at least remembered before we embarked on a study.  (It also reminds me why I really like the work my advisors do.)  

I often think that the social ones are most hubristic of the sciences.  Indeed, the motivation for the work taken up by psychology, political science, economics (etc) is (supposedly) to understand and improve ourselves and our living conditions.  Frequently, I find this a source of profound dissatisfaction with my chosen field of study.

But, it's difficult to think of any science -- the biologies, the chemistries -- as anything more than another version of selfish pursuit.  While in these the goal is to understand the non-human elements of the universe, the understanding we seek is similarly usually for our own advancement [link to bunnies with bleeding eyes here]*.  

We debate the "unselfish good deed" endlessly.  Perhaps we ought also to wonder of the "unselfish curiosity".

(I may have just given the physicists even more ego than they already have.  But even their work is selfish if you consider that we'll all have to end up on Mars anyway.)

*you're welcome.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Natürlich

In 200 years there's going to be a news story about a person who uses a Forever Stamp from 2009.  People are going to share the story with their friends and say, "can you imagine!".

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Informational Cascades, or: Welcome to 2009, The Year The Internet Finally Let Us Do Anything We Want

Welcome to 2009, gentle readers!  In today's post I propose to begin with a reflection on the past, then move to the present, and in-between discuss the future.

Since time immemorial, a perfectly sound reason for doing something has been the observation that other people are doing it.  In this fearsome blog post, Yours Truly follows in the footsteps of both peers and ancestors, as well as peers of ancestors (Important note: this does not include ancestors of peers).

With no ado beyond that which we've already endured, I hereby invite you, dear watchers (!!!!), to feast your minds and psyches on the following odyssey of communication, technology, art, and that burning, eternal flame that is black-and-white minimally moving human-like creatures:




In addition, and in the continued spirit of calendar-worshipping, I present to you a New Year's Gift of One New Speculation and One New Truth, for a Grand Total of One Speculation and One Truth thus far in this, our fairest of Gregorian years.

Speculation:
  1. Responsibility exists only in the abstract.
Truth:
  1. If you are not inside a Trader Joe's grocery establishment at the precise moment you find yourself in need a bag of freeze-dried mangosteen, you are going to spend your day unsatisfied.
Finally, let us also take a moment to celebrate that this blog just became even more multimedia than it already was.  If I didn't worry that it would cause us to shriek in overwhelmence, I would post a celebratory song.  For now, we shall suffice with a celebratory made-up word.  And a celebratory reward for any reader who spotted the made-up word before it was announced it was made-up.  And another celebratory reward for any reader who is currently shrieking in overwhelmence. 

Farewell for now, dear readers!  May your tomorrows continue to be affected by the things you did today and before that!