Sunday, January 24, 2010

The view is nice from up here on my high horse!

It's that time again, dear readers! That's right -- time for Yours Truly to complain more about what we're eating. This time it's going to be quick (fear not). Here it is:

Snacks: I am against them.

There are many reasons, some more sane than others, none unvaluable. (Do not tell me that unvaluable is not a word.) Your Fearless Leader will not share them Yet, but invites you to Whet your non-appetite with this article on how eating all the time has taken over American culture.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Andrea Sends a Letter, Volume III

Episode 1, series finale: At 11:05 AM EST (or EDT??), Your Fearless Leader Mailed a Letter. It was easy. She said no when they asked if she wanted more than one stamp.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Andrea Sends a Letter, Volume II

  • Episode 1: After writing blog post about failing to send letter, notice the full, cold truth of how pathetic lack of letter sending is. Vow to send letter that afternoon.
  • Episode 2: Afternoon passes. No letter sent.

Andrea Sends a Letter, Volume I

  • Episode 1: Spend a day finding a card that isn't obviously from a drug store discount bucket but also doesn't cost $7.95.
  • Episode 2: Keep card and envelope in bag for 2-2.5 weeks. (I'm traveling! I can't write CARDS!)
  • Episode 3: Return from travels. Wait several days. Call someone to get address of recipient. Write address on a used post-it note found in car. Put post-it in bag with card.
  • Episode 4: Two days later, address envelope, be grateful key post-it is still there. Write first half of card. Discover it is glossy and thus smearing everywhere. Stop.
  • Episode 5: Carry open card around another hour. Finally close it, hope ink doesn't get destroyed.
  • Episode 6: 3 week days and 2 weekend days later, finish second half of card.
  • Episode 7: Keep it open on desk for several hours. Close it, lick envelope. Put in bag.
  • Episode 8: Leave in bag until there is time to go to Post Office to get stamp. But the Post Office closes at 5 PM. Also, it is cold out. 2 more days pass.


Sunday, January 10, 2010

A Day in the Midwest

Yours Truly is in a Prominent Bank on a Prominent Street in a Town in Michigan, when a nearly toothless man in a wheelchair rolls in at top speed from a very snowy sidewalk. He has a backback that looks empty and the biggest Grin you have ever seen.

He halts, spins around once to take everyone in. Someone asks how his Christmas was. He shouts: "In my old age, I don't need anything new! I just want to be able to come in and say hello to my favorite bankers!"

Everyone exclaims hello back, asks how he has been since Christmas. He is, as you might expect, Outstanding.

He wheels up to the counter and addresses the gentle old lady teller with the salutation, "Hello, Marvelous!" Her response is not audible.

Immediately following that is the most rip-roaring conversation anyone has ever heard about how Kroger is the best grocery store anyone could have asked for. Everyone is involved and has a laudable thing to add about our Humble Grocery Chain.

When they run out of praises to sing, one lady helps him get something out of his backpack. He leaves in a flash, having done no banking. Everyone carries on. Yours Truly waits more.

(Insider tip: don't even think about going to Meijer unless you feel like waiting for a hundred years at their slow self checkout lines!!)

(Insider counter-tip: Yours Truly attended a Luncheon once with Hank Meijer, son of owner. He is, it turns out, a very Nice man, is writing a biography of his father, and is very Philanthropic to good causes like Microcredit. This post in no way intends to reflect the Opinion of Anyone, except for those stated herein, and heretofore.)

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Note to self

Rule 1: On Monday mornings in Michigan, the Panera near the local shopping mall is filled with over-caffeinated super moms. They (the Panera people, not the super moms (as far as can be understood from the naked eye)) also turn off the fireplace, which is the only redeeming quality in the whole place.
Rule 2: Do not go there!

And, now, the first PARADOX of TWENTY-TEN! Major cities in California are one thousand times (approximately) warmer than most other cities in the northern half of the US. Yet, roaring fireplaces are de rigeur in the former, and de almost nowhere to be found ever in the latter.

This is a puzzle. There is very little research on this. Someone, for the love of things on fire and not wanting to freeze to death, fill this gap in the literature!

Proposal 1: Research agendas in the social sciences in this decade should be valued in terms of how much they contribute to the immediate personal comfort of the researcher.