I've said it before and I'll say it a thousand times...

... vitamins have never made any sense to me.

"Report Questions Need for Two Diet Supplements," The New York Times, 11/29/10.

A Diversion, Dear Readers!

Dear Friends!

I come to you, poring over the Internet, and a spoonful of Raw Almond Butter, with the following invitation to EXPRESS YOUR OPINIONS to Strangers! You, too, can answer questions about Raw and Vegan THINGS.

Rule 1: I like surveys

Rule 2: I am forever against the abbreviation of the word "vegetable" to "veggies"

**Bonus Rule 3**: Go ahead, take this survey, and vote for Pure Food and Wine for Best Restaurant, Mighty-O for best vegan bakery, Sarma Melngailis for best vegan chef, and Vancouver for best vegan International city! Now you are an informed voter.

Or, please COMMENT HERE and correct Yours Truly! For I am but a humble servant.

The end! Except, the beginning:

Take the "Veggie Awards" Survey Here.

P.S. Bonus Bonus Bonus that is not actually a Bonus: I will not reveal for whom I voted for best national vegan city. One reason is that I don't remember. The other is that, no matter what upon which I settled, said settling caused Much torment.

The view is nice from up here on my high horse!

It's that time again, dear readers! That's right -- time for Yours Truly to complain more about what we're eating. This time it's going to be quick (fear not). Here it is:

Snacks: I am against them.

There are many reasons, some more sane than others, none unvaluable. (Do not tell me that unvaluable is not a word.) Your Fearless Leader will not share them Yet, but invites you to Whet your non-appetite with this article on how eating all the time has taken over American culture.

Putting the acid in acidophilus!

Here's a quick read on less protein, less meat for most of us (in the US and similar SAD-like places). The reason this time is the high acid in meat and dairy, which we (a) eat too much of, and (b) don't balance by fruits and vegetables, which are high alkaline. Acidity is officially something I don't understand, but I've read about it elsewhere and find it not completely crazy. In other words, please pass the carrots! Just kidding, Yours Truly would eat carrots even if they were the most acidic thing on earth.

Red Meat Causes and Is Caused by Death!

I've said it before, I said it again (and again), but now I never need to say it again: "Daily Red Meat Raises Chance of Dying Early."

And not only that, but the meat is worse if you:

Cook it
or
Process it.

AND: It destroys the environment.

End of discussion. Good day, gentlemen!

Perfect Storm of Human Excellence

It's a collision of Olympics and Del Close and Your Fearless Leader is wildly overwhelmed by these things in which she is already unhealthily interested.  Among all the fanfare, I am  currently most obsessed with Becky Kim, and you should be, too.

But think about it!  Improv is thrilling because it's among the most raw and truthful human behavior one can observe.  As for synchro, as Steven Strogatz, another person with whom everyone ought to be obsessed, puts it: "in its most refined form, persistent synchronization can be spectacular" (SYNC, p. 2).  Thus, in one weekend we celebrate two intensely impressive feats of people in groups.

Thus, the intersection of one of the biggest weeks in synchronized swimming and one of the biggest weeks in Improv calls for something special.  Something REALLY special.  And that is ... the one and only Truly Reminiscent moment that will ever appear on this blog (we operate in a spirit of presentism over here, friends.  For more on that subject, read this book.  Incidentally, it was written by my undergraduate dance teacher's mother.  It's also set in China, so there's some Olympic Spirit for you).

On to the Truly Reminiscent:

Once in a synchronized swimming workshop at Michigan a prominent coach came and for an exercise had us do 15 minutes of Improvised Synchronized Swimming.  She played music and told us to do whatever "moved us". We all scattered around the pool and did random things until she turned off the music.  Most of us felt ridiculous, but trusted that she knew what she was doing.  I remember spending a lot of time underwater (they can't see you there).  Finally it ended.  She looked at us blankly, paused, then started talking about something else.  No one ever mentioned it again.

This means worlds shouldn't collide.  That's why Olympics and DCM are stressful.  That's also why I'm intensely grateful the Zebra F-301 Enthusiasts' Summer Spectacular was mercifully scheduled for the week after next.

mucho

Two things that, when they work beautifully, are evidence that civilization actually might be good for people, but that, when they don't work, make you pretty much question the worth of your entire existence, are: (1) Public transportation and (2) auto-formatting.

Today Domestic Andrea tried to make her own raw hummus. Turns out, Domestic Andrea makes terrible raw hummus. But Domestic Andrea is the Master of Espresso. And of Frozen Raspberries out of a Glass with a Fork.

Relatedly, a study from the University of Michigan (hooray for the home team) found that in the US single women in their 20s spend an average of 12 hours per week on housework. (What are they doing? Does showering and checking e-mail count?) Apparently when they get married, this number goes up to 5 million. That is why I support outsourcing in the home.

MOKA

Dear readers, do I have a new experience-and-a-half for you! And this isn't any new experience; in fact, it's an experience I have been long *against* doing, for fear I would ruin the magic of the actual outcome.

You guessed it: Andrea made espresso.

I'll allow that to sink in. Yes, making one's own coffee is one thing, but that's only because drip coffee is not a miracle. Drip coffee is the running of hot water through things that taste like coffee so that the water then tastes like coffee. Espresso and all espresso-based drinks, however, are the result of a combination of giant silver machines, levers left over from the 1930s, the banging of spoons on other spoons, and lots (and Lots) of steam. Crank it all around and, voilà, magical cups of glory are produced a la Willy Wonka-meets-the dark side of the moon.

Naturally, my making it at my current home (#10 in the past 12 months, for those counting) did destroy the magic, but -- and here is the crux -- the magic was destroyed only somewhat. The device I discovered in my kitchen and subsequently used to create this drink was at the start very mysterious, and, happily, still remains so, even though I did manage eventually to use it properly:

Have you ever seen anything more mysterious?

Next order of business:
New experience within a new experience: This blog just became multi-media!
New experience within a new experience within a new experience: Nested new experiences!
I won't keep going.

I will leave you, friends, with some new truths to take home to your loved ones:

1. The fact that it actually rains in April is very cliché on the part of the Weather.
2. Having to actually ask someone whether he/she remembers you is one of the saddest acts through which one can put oneself. (Advice-for-free: I recommend avoiding this at all costs.)
3. You will feel better in the last hour of 6 hours of hot yoga than you felt during the middle.
4. Raw ice cream doesn't melt.
5. Payphones in subways will come in handy someday.

Annual Christmas Card

Things are changing around here, friends! This week we take the intensity up a notch with the following guarantee: A new and excellent version of my prospectus will be in the hands of my advisors by Friday afternoon. The following week I will attempt to write an entire journal article from start to finish in one week just to see if I can do it.

More news: I will take German lessons! Hast du gut geshlaffen, dear readers? I will especially learn how to spell that!

Even more news: The fabulous Jennifer Miller is trying raw!

Even more news than that: I will also register to become a bone marrow donor. It's something I've thought about for a good while but never got around to doing. Today while I was nominally working (partly motivating goal for the week, above), I came across this blog, which was all I needed to see to sign up. Tuesday I will go, and so should you, friends!

Back on my high horse

Writing a dissertation is like going to the gym ---- Just kidding, dear readers! This blog entry is decidedly not about my dissertation (whew). Instead, it is about this article. But you are busy people, so instead of expecting you all to read the article, I will present the main points for your convenience, information, and discussion. First, here is the background:

1. The cost of food is on the rise around the world.
2. This is mostly because demand is skyrocketing as people in developing countries get wealthier.
3. The world's stockpiles of grain are the lowest since world stockpiles of grain made sense as a concept.
4. High prices of food are contributing to inflation in the US
5. High prices of food are contributing to social unrest and violence in many countries
   

Now, to be sure, farmers all over the place are responding to the demand by growing as much as they can. But it's all mostly wheat and grains. (Fun fact: there was a one-day pasta strike in Italy last year!) Apparently demand for bread is huge in a lot of places that don't traditionally include it in their diets:

"Between 1995 and 2005, per capita wheat consumption in Nigeria more than tripled, to 44 pounds a year. Bread has been displacing traditional foods like eba, dumplings made from cassava root." It's even gotten to the point where, if you think about it in terms of a substance, people are basically addicted to it. (On this subject, read this book.)

Add to this that demand for other American-style foods is also increasing -- In addition to bread, people all over the place now want things like pork, dairy, and beef. (I've belabored the point elsewhere about how eating all of these things basically makes our healthcare costs ridiculously high and probably is what gives us all degenerative diseases.)

It used to be that the Standard American Diet was the sort of thing that was bad for our health, sure, and, ok, also terrible for the environment. But at least the environmental impact was somewhat mitigated by the fact that it was mostly just Americans eating this way. Then our harmful and unsustainable habits spread to parts of Western Europe. Then they caught on in China. Now they're really ramping up everywhere.

Thus, in the midst of global concerns about overpopulation and global warming, the very lifestyle that contributes most to healthcare costs, costs of living, and environmental damage is spreading like wildfire. Or like a disease!

As if all of this isn't bad enough, the US Government is actively limiting the ability of local farmers in the US to (a) increase how much they grow, and (b) grow things that are not corn, soybeans, wheat, rice, and cotton -- which are the five federally subsidized commodity crops. For more on this terrifying story, go here.

How is it possible, you ask, that in the face of what looks to be a flat-out global economic, health, and food crisis, the US Government isn't changing its policies drastically to try to prevent it, or at least strongly minimize its effects? Alas, my friends, THAT is the subject of my dissertation.

Damn! But before I go, a piece of advice: Even if they tell you you can't have more than one Blockbuster account, you actually can.
Piece of advice #2: Don't incorporate in Nevada.
Piece of advice that I never follow: Brevity, friends, brevity!

Ever so idle!

Analogy that is useful only to me: Writing a dissertation is like driving really, really far. At the end of each day you feel exhausted, but you basically have just been sitting very still all day and have absolutely no feeling of accomplishment whatsoever. Also in both cases you drink more coffee than you should, even though you know better. And you listen to/read a ton of crap that is not only not informative in the slightest, but probably is actively making you dumber. And you chew gum even though you don't want to.

I could go on.

I swear this fine blog will have fewer dissertation complaints in the future. It's no fun for anyone, I know. In the spirit of levitas, I invite you to click on this link. It's hilarious, and I don't use that term lightly. Also in the spirit of the continued scientific endeavor, I will add proper citations: I lifted that link straight from Will Hines' fantastic blog. No spirit of creativity from me today, friends.

For those avidly keeping track, you will be pleased to learn that I attempted wheatgrass shot #2 a few days ago in Ann Arbor. All told, it was a much better experience than the first. I suspect this is because either wheatgrass in Michigan is superior to that in Manhattan, or my expectations got involved and screwed with the experience, as they tend to do. Also the one in Ann Arbor came in a tiny, tiny mug. We are now accepting votes on which reason it actually is. Write-ins are acceptable, within reason of course.

I leave you, fine readers, with a new superlative:
Number 1 Unsung Hero of the Lettuce Community Award: Arugula.

Yes, dissertations and variations on greens, followed by apologies for both. That is what I will rename my blog.

P.S. New Experience for the day: Looked "arugula" up in the dictionary because the powers that be in this blog site are telling me I'm spelling it wrong. All it says for the definition is "the rocket plant, used for cooking". That is even less helpful than definitions for adverbs that give you the adjective + "behaving as though" or "tending to".

Simple!

"Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants."

wings and wheat

New Experience 1: "Trivia Night" (TM) at a Hooter's in New Jersey. I went with my improv team last night. Verdict? Excellent. Daystallion came in a proud third place! (against a crowd of 99% frat boys on their home "turf", mind you.) Most common categories of questions? "Sports", "Comics", "Music", "TV", and "Entertainment". What is "entertainment" if not "sports, comics, music, or TV", you ask? I don't know, either.

(For you raw enthusiasts, take note, you can get an entire plate of celery at Hooter's for 69 cents!)

Lest I leave you, dear readers, out of the fun: What were the first four flavors of absolut vodka? Where do the Mets go for Spring Training? What city is hosting the Final Four next year? I am now the proud owner of answers to all of those questions. Test yourselves!

New Experience 2: Wheatgrass shot. Verdict? Completely vile. Even though I expected it to be not that great, it was still a shock how vicious it was. I'll probably have another tomorrow. (Self-challenges are the secret to my success!)

Truth For The Day: Standing in a shower where the drain is blocked so the tub fills up a little feels a lot more disgusting than it really rationally should.

Finally, I ended up watching When Dinosaurs Roamed America the other night. It was disappointing at best, and pretty much portrayed evolution as magic.

There's (always) more to it

Recently I posted suggesting we improve the foods available in poorer neighborhoods. Apparently, there's more involved than just making it available. In fact, the introduction of produce stands in a bunch of neighborhoods with obesity problems has been met with lots of (understandable) uproar.

I am endlessly fascinated by how the complexity of our societies makes change difficult -- or even just makes things difficult to undo.

Besting

Top news: I've had more disappointing oranges in a row recently than I care to count. First new experience award for the day: Man on subway standing directly below the sign that said "6 Uptown" asked me if this was the place to wait for the 6 Uptown. Second new experience award for the day: Quinoa Gold. Verdict? (1) An acquired taste. (1a) If you grit your teeth. (2) In retrospect, probably not raw. Those tricky liquids get me every time.

Fascinating slice of real truth 1: "There's a Doctor" = Best song on the Tommy album.
Fascinating slice of real truth 2: The Dashboard, first introduced on OSX Tiger two years ago, by all accounts should have revolutionized modern computing.

It's either completely deterministic or a flat out free-for-all. Today I lean toward the latter. Regardless, I think we can all agree that the frequentists are in denial.

In sum

Here is the summary of my life for pretty much the past 500 days:

I have a bunch of shit to do that I don't want to do, and no real deadline by which I need to do it. I should stop wondering why I never get anything done, even though I spend 15 hours a day in front of my filthy laptop.

In brighter news, I am happy to report installment 1 of ... Andrea's New Experience of The Day:

Inca Golden Berries.

Verdict? Highly recommended. Go forth, friends!