Try all you want, you'll never get those things to stick together

Attention, Attention, my Dear, Dear Readers!

There is a conference taking place in Cargèse, France this very July.  One of the topics to be covered is frustrated magnets.

I say, it's high time magnets were given an opportunity to air their grievances.  I can only imagine that being at the mercy of those poles all the time must grow tiresome in a big hurry.

(Exhibit A: Why Andrea Does Not Do Stand-Up: See Contained.)

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Frustrated Magnets Awareness bumper stickers* are available by e-mailing the Author.

*obviously, they are not the magnetic kind.  Let's give those poor things a break!

Beginning to end

I'll tell you what: You give me three nickels, I'll give you a dime and five pennies. No, wait: I'll give YOU two dimes, and then you give me one nickel, thirteen pennies, and one two-cent coin from the days of Yore. Wait, wait, no! I know! You give ME the one million dollars in cold hard cash you owe me, and I'll let you get out of here alive.

BANG BANG BANG BANG!

This blog entry was composed with no idea how it would go whatsoever. On the bright side, I just nailed my opening lines for my mobster screenplay. On the less-than-bright side, I got sketched out.

In unrelated news, I wonder if my coffee is poisoned. And by "poisoned", I mean: "old", and by "old" I mean: who am I kidding? I drink it like this all the time because I don't have a coffee maker in my slum.

And by "slum" I mean "modest accommodation".

Here is something fun: Zebras. Why do they exist?!?!

Ok, ok: You're right. That wasn't fun at all. Here's something that's REALLY fun.

Still not satisfied? Go here.

Put Differently

Proposition 1: Unless you were going to follow what you just said with exactly the same thing, there is absolutely no reason to insert the phrase "in other words" into your sentence or paragraph.

Proof: Suppose I am tired. Suppose further I wish to express this. Possible ways to do this:

I am tired. In other words, I feel like sleeping.
I am tired. In similar words, I am tired.

Lemma 1: This is exhausting.
Lemma 2: I am not actually tired.
Lemma 3: Yours truly is violently misusing the lemma.

Q.E.D.

Red Meat Causes and Is Caused by Death!

I've said it before, I said it again (and again), but now I never need to say it again: "Daily Red Meat Raises Chance of Dying Early."

And not only that, but the meat is worse if you:

Cook it
or
Process it.

AND: It destroys the environment.

End of discussion. Good day, gentlemen!

the public services

This article (from 1990!) discusses a lot of that about which I wish we in the social sciences thought a bit more -- or at least remembered before we embarked on a study.  (It also reminds me why I really like the work my advisors do.)  

I often think that the social ones are most hubristic of the sciences.  Indeed, the motivation for the work taken up by psychology, political science, economics (etc) is (supposedly) to understand and improve ourselves and our living conditions.  Frequently, I find this a source of profound dissatisfaction with my chosen field of study.

But, it's difficult to think of any science -- the biologies, the chemistries -- as anything more than another version of selfish pursuit.  While in these the goal is to understand the non-human elements of the universe, the understanding we seek is similarly usually for our own advancement [link to bunnies with bleeding eyes here]*.  

We debate the "unselfish good deed" endlessly.  Perhaps we ought also to wonder of the "unselfish curiosity".

(I may have just given the physicists even more ego than they already have.  But even their work is selfish if you consider that we'll all have to end up on Mars anyway.)

*you're welcome.

Natürlich

In 200 years there's going to be a news story about a person who uses a Forever Stamp from 2009.  People are going to share the story with their friends and say, "can you imagine!".

Informational Cascades, or: Welcome to 2009, The Year The Internet Finally Let Us Do Anything We Want

Welcome to 2009, gentle readers!  In today's post I propose to begin with a reflection on the past, then move to the present, and in-between discuss the future.

Since time immemorial, a perfectly sound reason for doing something has been the observation that other people are doing it.  In this fearsome blog post, Yours Truly follows in the footsteps of both peers and ancestors, as well as peers of ancestors (Important note: this does not include ancestors of peers).

With no ado beyond that which we've already endured, I hereby invite you, dear watchers (!!!!), to feast your minds and psyches on the following odyssey of communication, technology, art, and that burning, eternal flame that is black-and-white minimally moving human-like creatures:

In addition, and in the continued spirit of calendar-worshipping, I present to you a New Year's Gift of One New Speculation and One New Truth, for a Grand Total of One Speculation and One Truth thus far in this, our fairest of Gregorian years.

Speculation:

1. Responsibility exists only in the abstract.

Truth:

1. If you are not inside a Trader Joe's grocery establishment at the precise moment you find yourself in need a bag of freeze-dried mangosteen, you are going to spend your day unsatisfied.

Finally, let us also take a moment to celebrate that this blog just became even more multimedia than it already was.  If I didn't worry that it would cause us to shriek in overwhelmence, I would post a celebratory song.  For now, we shall suffice with a celebratory made-up word.  And a celebratory reward for any reader who spotted the made-up word before it was announced it was made-up.  And another celebratory reward for any reader who is currently shrieking in overwhelmence. 

Farewell for now, dear readers!  May your tomorrows continue to be affected by the things you did today and before that!