If You're Looking for a Title Here, You're About to Be Sorely Disappointed

Dear Readers,

Hello.  It would appear no posts were ... *ahem* ... posted during the month of May.  The committee wishes to sincerely apologize for this oversight and blames The Horrible Management In This Place for the mistake.

While we do not offer refunds, we do offer overly theatrical displays of remorse.  And by "overly theatrical displays of remorse" we mean "free auto-subscriptions to the Sierra Post Discount Trading Newsletter and Its Non-Junk-Mail-Trainable Affiliates."  To receive your own personalized display of remorse, please email us at your convenience at:

donotreply@thisisnotanemailaddress.seriouslyiwishthisactuallywasmyemailaddress.org

Sincerely,

The Committee* on Reader* Enjoyment*

*You can't spell "committee" without "commit"

*We know you don't read this blog.  You pronounce each word aloud as you encounter it, to the delight of passersby.

*Make that enjoyMINT and have a Junior One!  Also, save yourself some angst and don't think about what a Senior Mint would entail.

Springtime* Competition!

Dear Readers!  In the past two weeks, Your Fearless Leader has engaged in the Modern Act of causing the transfer of funds out of her bank account and into the bank account of something or someone in another place.  But, these were not just any old transfers to any old places!  No sir, they were transfers to -- this is important --

TWO PLACES THAT ARE FORSAKEN BY GOD.

One is Indiana.  The other is Azerbaijan.

And now ... the question on everybody's mind: Which is MORE FORSAKEN?!

VOTE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*not springtime.

Try all you want, you'll never get those things to stick together

Attention, Attention, my Dear, Dear Readers!

There is a conference taking place in Cargèse, France this very July.  One of the topics to be covered is frustrated magnets.

I say, it's high time magnets were given an opportunity to air their grievances.  I can only imagine that being at the mercy of those poles all the time must grow tiresome in a big hurry.

(Exhibit A: Why Andrea Does Not Do Stand-Up: See Contained.)

----

Frustrated Magnets Awareness bumper stickers* are available by e-mailing the Author.

*obviously, they are not the magnetic kind.  Let's give those poor things a break!

Beginning to end

I'll tell you what: You give me three nickels, I'll give you a dime and five pennies. No, wait: I'll give YOU two dimes, and then you give me one nickel, thirteen pennies, and one two-cent coin from the days of Yore. Wait, wait, no! I know! You give ME the one million dollars in cold hard cash you owe me, and I'll let you get out of here alive.

BANG BANG BANG BANG!

This blog entry was composed with no idea how it would go whatsoever. On the bright side, I just nailed my opening lines for my mobster screenplay. On the less-than-bright side, I got sketched out.

In unrelated news, I wonder if my coffee is poisoned. And by "poisoned", I mean: "old", and by "old" I mean: who am I kidding? I drink it like this all the time because I don't have a coffee maker in my slum.

And by "slum" I mean "modest accommodation".

Here is something fun: Zebras. Why do they exist?!?!

Ok, ok: You're right. That wasn't fun at all. Here's something that's REALLY fun.

Still not satisfied? Go here.

Put Differently

Proposition 1: Unless you were going to follow what you just said with exactly the same thing, there is absolutely no reason to insert the phrase "in other words" into your sentence or paragraph.

Proof: Suppose I am tired. Suppose further I wish to express this. Possible ways to do this:

I am tired. In other words, I feel like sleeping.
I am tired. In similar words, I am tired.

Lemma 1: This is exhausting.
Lemma 2: I am not actually tired.
Lemma 3: Yours truly is violently misusing the lemma.

Q.E.D.

Red Meat Causes and Is Caused by Death!

I've said it before, I said it again (and again), but now I never need to say it again: "Daily Red Meat Raises Chance of Dying Early."

And not only that, but the meat is worse if you:

Cook it
or
Process it.

AND: It destroys the environment.

End of discussion. Good day, gentlemen!

the public services

This article (from 1990!) discusses a lot of that about which I wish we in the social sciences thought a bit more -- or at least remembered before we embarked on a study.  (It also reminds me why I really like the work my advisors do.)  

I often think that the social ones are most hubristic of the sciences.  Indeed, the motivation for the work taken up by psychology, political science, economics (etc) is (supposedly) to understand and improve ourselves and our living conditions.  Frequently, I find this a source of profound dissatisfaction with my chosen field of study.

But, it's difficult to think of any science -- the biologies, the chemistries -- as anything more than another version of selfish pursuit.  While in these the goal is to understand the non-human elements of the universe, the understanding we seek is similarly usually for our own advancement [link to bunnies with bleeding eyes here]*.  

We debate the "unselfish good deed" endlessly.  Perhaps we ought also to wonder of the "unselfish curiosity".

(I may have just given the physicists even more ego than they already have.  But even their work is selfish if you consider that we'll all have to end up on Mars anyway.)

*you're welcome.